Fairytales and Other Lies We Were Told
by mamasutra
Summary: Once upon a time there was a prince who loved his princess and a princess who lived for her prince. If only it had stayed that way, but happily ever after is only the beginning and forever is alot longer than what a person would ever believe.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The ocean water rushed over my feet as well my daughter's as we walked along the shore. The water was warm and inviting as it washed away our footprints while pooling around our ankles. It was a soothing walk as I held her hand while her other sisters ran ahead of her, chasing birds and finding the last bit of sea shells on our last night here before returning to the cornfields of Iowa.

"Momma," Sophie asked me in her too wise for seven years old voice while looking at me with green eyes just like her father.

"Yeah, baby?" I asked as we walked along. I quickly checked on Hailey who at the age of thirteen was little Lillie's best friend as well as our other daughter, Maggie's worst enemy, yet the vacation brought them together.

"Do you remember the story you read us?" she asked me as we walked along the water's edge. I nodded that I did. It was a fairy princess story that she loved with a princess and prince that overcame a wicked witch to be together and love for all of eternity. Sophie loved the story. She was my little romantic.

"Is Daddy your prince charming?" she asked me in a worried voice that made me wonder if she knew what life was really like for me in our home. It was that panic that washed over as I wondered if all my pretending that everything was fine was for nothing, but I couldn't ask her just in case she truly had no idea.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I wasn't sure what to say. I looked back at Edward as he stood by our blanket, watching us while checking his email on his phone. He still looked like the same boy I feel in love with years ago. He had the same wild hair and green eyes that he had passed on to one of our daughters. The same smile, but it didn't shine as bright for me on those rare times I actually got to see it, but I couldn't say that.

I couldn't tell her that life was bigger than fairy tales and promises made in the dark while my father slept down the hall with a gun on the night stand. Life was bigger than stories and movies with happy ending that were bold and romantic. I couldn't tell her that sometimes life gives you a fairy tale only to have reality wash it away. I couldn't tell her that loving someone was easy until it wasn't any more. Instead, I lied.

"Of course he is baby," I said confidently as I smiled down at her lovely face that looked too much like the man I had promised my forever to.

"Of course he is," I whispered as I looked back at the man who was too wrapped up in his phone to even notice me anymore.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! This is the first very small chapter of the next fic I have set to go. I hope you will stick around to read it as I have an amazing team of pre readers that are cracking the whip making sure that I write this one well. I will list each one in the next installment to share my love for these wonderful ladies that lurk around on my Facebook page. **

**Anyway, this is just a taste of what is come starting in one week. At this time I have it planned to update only once a week and for anyone who has read anything that I have ever posted you know that I never promise a HEA, but that doesn't mean that it won't happen either.**

**One last thing… Rose Arcadia I hope this is what you wanted when you said you wanted a Bella cheater fic where Edward gets his heart ripped out. MercyrusTales, my fic wife, I hope I am able to do the story we spoke that we both live at times of justice for as we both know sometimes the men in our lives put us in a position where cheating would be easy.**

**Come check out my fb group Mamasutra moments for teasers…**

**See ya in a week : )**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"Come on, Bella," I could hear Edward soft chiding through the line. He knew I was upset, but just like any other time that it mattered, he would find way out.

"You know I want to go with you, but Paul needs me," he said as if that explained everything, as if I gave a damn his boss needed him. I needed him.

"Well, we wouldn't want to disappoint Paul, would we?" I asked him, not even bothering to hide my bitter tone. I hated Paul with a fiery passion. I hated his job since no matter what happened at home, it always came first. It always came before me or the children and so this was no different than any other time.

"Stop it," he hissed at me in a wounded tone that used to affect me, that used to make me feel guilty for needing him, but not anymore. I was done feeling guilty. I was done with it all.

"You know I have to work," he said in a firm tone as if he was speaking to child. He always treated me like a child, not like the woman who ran our house and keep his life going smoothly day to day. I cringed as I waited for what was coming next since it was always what he said to me.

"One of us has to work. Not everyone gets to spend the day doing what they want," he said in a cold tone, reminding me once more what he thought of me and my lack of employment.

"I would love to go back to work, Edward, but then you would have to be a little more helpful with the kids and we both know that's not going to happen," I hissed back at him as I glanced back at my quiet two year old who sat in her car seat looking out the window as if nothing was going on around her. She was lost in her own world and it was because of that we were here.

"Bella, you know how much they need me here," he said as if that explained everything, but his words were only like pouring gasoline on a fire for me.

"Yeah, well, we need you too," I hissed, trying to keep my temper in check for my baby who sat so silently behind me while I looked over at the building where we would be entering in a few minutes.

"I promise after this trip things will slow down. I promise that I will…" he said in a solemn voice that he always used when he spewed his lies to me. It wasn't going to slow down. It wasn't going go to change because he would not allow it. He wanted to be gone all the time and sometimes I didn't blame him. It would be easier without the kids and chaos that comes with them, but it was just so unfair that he got to opted out all of the time while I left dealing with the reality of our life alone.

"Yeah, I got to go," I said with a sigh, not caring that I was interrupting his passionate speech of how things would be better.

"I'll be in a meeting for a few hours so don't call since I won't be able to pick up," he said as if he was warning me not to embarrass him by reminding him of the family he left behind to be the man.

"Edward," I said as a warning to him since he knew this was important. He knew I needed him here with me because I could not take it. He knew and still left me all the same because his fucking boss needed him in Alabama.

"Bella, I will call as soon as I can, I promise," he said soothingly to me as silence settled between us. It was a sweet and calming tone that he had always used on me when he was trying to calm me. I hated that it worked.

_Liar._

"Everything will be fine," he cooed at me, giving me a taste of the man I needed him to be in this moment, the man I rarely saw any more.

_Liar._

"You don't know that," I said while calling him out on his lies, as I wiped at a few tears that had escaped me just as the sound of men talking filled the background around my husband.

"Gotta go, baby," he said in a rush as I felt the cold of him leaving me once more.

"I love you," I whispered to him, but he was already gone.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! I'm thinking this will update once or twice a week, but I haven't set the days for those updates yet.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I waited for his phone call. He said he would call. He promised, yet at eight o'clock at night as I was trying to put the kids to bed I still hadn't heard from him. After Sophie cried for thirty minutes because she just couldn't sleep without telling Daddy good night, I decided enough was enough. I grabbed my cell phone and called my ever missing husband.

"Bella?" he practically yelled into the phone as he answered my call after what had to be the sixth ring. The background noise around him was loud and filled with laughter.

"Where are you?" I asked him as I shook my head at Sophie who was already trying to grab at the phone with all of her seven year old impatience to take it from me.

"We at the Steakhouse," he said just as a burst of loud male laughter filled the space between us.

"Sophie wanted to call to say good night," I said with a sigh as I bit back my anger since I could not think of the last time I went out with or without him, let alone to a restaurant that did not have a kids menu, yet there he was having dinner and laughing as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"Baby, let me call you back in a little bit since I can't hear you at all," he said with a half laugh that was meant for whomever he was having dinner with, not me. It was that laugh that made me just hang up on him in anger, not that he noticed.

"Baby, Daddy will call in the morning," I said as she looked at me with eyes that were exactly like her father.

"You said that yesterday," she said with a teary hiccup, calling me out on my lie. I lied often for him and she was catching on to this.

"I know, but you know Daddy is really busy, baby," I said as I urged her back to bed while she dragged her feet to return to bed. She seemed satisfied with my answer, but I knew if he didn't call in the morning I would hear about it from her. With one last kiss and hug I tucked her back into bed before enjoying the silence of my house as my children slept.

I had drifted off to sleep sometime after tucking the girls in only to be awakened by the buzzing of my phone against the wood end table. It was after ten at night so it was far from late, yet too late for anyone else to be calling me.

I scrambled to grab the phone as it buzzed at me like an angry bee while making me nervous. I hated phone calls at night since they were never good.

I glanced at the screen before accepting the call to find that it was Edward.

"Did I wake you?" he asked me in a loose voice that told me he had been drinking. He rarely drank when he traveled. He was all business and nothing else so something happened for him to drink like this.

"No," I lied to him, hating how much easier it was to lie to him now.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't talk earlier. I was…"he said as he explained away his lack of phone calls.

"Yeah, I know," I said, cutting him off since I was too tired to hear his excuses. The silence settled between us and it was a horrible uncomfortable silence. It made me sad since there was a time that silence between us was comforting since I knew he understood me and was still with me, but now that silence was a reminder of the space between us.

"I…uh…I had a good day," he stammered, struggling to think of something to say to me, but that struggling just added to my anger since all I could think about was how I needed him and how he was never there.

"Why did you call, Edward?" I asked him in a soft tone, but I knew he could hear the harshness in my words. It was cruel and unfair of me, but I was tired and feeling far from generous when it came to his nightly whining of how he wanted to be at home with me since to me if he wanted to be here, he would.

"I needed to hear your voice," he said in a tied sounding voice that made my heart ache no matter how hardened I tried to make it.

"I miss you so much," he whispered into the phone sounding almost sick with emotion as he whispered to me. It was breaking my heart. It was killing me since in my mind if he really missed me he'd be here.

"How was your day?" he asked in a calm tone as if he was trying to bring it back to the detached normalcy that we lived with now.

"We had that meeting for Lillie," I reminded him, even though I had not forgotten. I was sure I would never forget it. I listened to his sputtering as he reminded me that he remembered, but after fifteen years of marriage I knew when he lied and he was lying. He had forgotten.

"How did that go?" he asked me as I shook my head even though he couldn't see me.

"Not so well," I whispered as I felt the emotions of failure and anger swallow me up inside as I struggled to breathe as I told him about going into a room where for people waited for me. I explained about answering questions about my pregnancy with Lillie and our home. I listened to him hiss in anger as I told him about how they questioned where he was during this meeting. I listened to his quiet breathing as I told him about the dumb ass school counselor who tossed a photo copied packet of papers entitled _What to Do Now That Your Child is Autistic_.

"I lost my mind, Edward," I said as I tried to explain a heated conversation with a school counselor that I demanded to see his credentials to diagnosis since autism is a medical diagnosis. I regaled how the asshole counselor yelled at me because I took my child to be evaluated by the autism team at the University of Iowa before my appointment with them.

"What makes them think that she is?"He asked me as I bit my tongue to keep from yelling at him as well.

"Well, the big clue is she is almost three and she talks like an eighteen month old, when she happened to talk at all," I said unable to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. "You would know this if you were ever around," I finished in a hiss as I listened to his sharp intake of air, telling me I hit the mark with my words.

"Bella, don't," he warned in a dark voice that told me of the anger he was holding back from me, but I didn't care. I didn't care at all. I needed him here. I needed him present, but that never happened.

"Fake laundry," I said, sounding like an idiot to myself as I tried to explain what happened

"Lillie played with the play washing machine and even though she put the clothes in and played with the dials, he said she was autistic because she forgot the fake soap," I said as I wiped at the frustrated tears that were starting to fall. It was too much. It was too emotional of a day and I told him that. I told him of arguing with a man that thought he knew it all and was wrong. I told him about answering questions and feeling like a bad mom because of it all. It told him everything he missed as I cried until there was nothing left to say as the tears took over. Edward let me cry into the phone, just making soothing sounds as he whispered for me not to cry.

"Please don't cry, baby" he would whisper as I sobbed letting all the emotion of the day out with a good cry until there was no more tears left to cry.

"What happens now?" he asked me in a quiet voice as I hiccupped while trying to compose myself.

"Uhm… They write a report, but the parent liaison was positive that she will qualify for the speech intensive preschool that we wanted to get her into," I said as I took another deep calming breath that did nothing to calm me.

"Well, then that's all matters, baby," he tried to soothe and while I knew he was right I still hated it. I still hated that she would have go. I hated that I had to deal with IEP's and the school system. I hated it. I hated that I blamed myself for Lillie's not being able to talk. I hated it all and I hated that it felt like I doing it all alone.

"I know," I whispered to him as I closed my eyes because most of all I hated it when he was right.

"Bella, it will be ok," he said in an assuring me in a soft murmur as I shook my head no over her lies. I knew better. It wasn't going to be ok. There was something wrong and his ignoring it just like always.

"I gotta go if I want to make the flight home tomorrow," he said with a yawn as I felt my heat flutter over the idea of having him home once more. It was stupid, but there was something about just having here that was reassuring and I needed the reassurance now.

"When will you be home?" I asked him, not bothering to hide the excitement out of my voice. It was that excitement that made him snicker at me like a school boy.

"In the afternoon, I think. I will call you once I know for sure," he said with a grin in his voice that made me smile as well.

"I love you Bella Swan," he murmured so sweetly into the phone with a sleepy sigh, reminding me of when it was just us against the world not him, me, and his work mixed with our girls.

"I love you, too" I whispered as I ended the call, reminding myself that I could hold on until tomorrow. I could survive until tomorrow since tomorrow would be better.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! As a reminder... this is not a cheating Edward fic. **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**unbeta'd**

I closed my eyes and struggled to hold on to him as he pulled my legs apart in a gruff manner that made me moan.

"Do you have any idea of the filthy, filthy thoughts that have kept me entertained on my way home to you," he grunted to me in a hushed manner as he hovered above me with a wild look in his eyes. Edward's hair stood on end from my hands and his lips were swollen from my kisses. He looked hungry for me and it was always in those moments that I felt closest to him since it was then that he was back to being my Edward, not the distant man that he had become.

"I dreamt only of you, Bella," he moaned into my ear as he rubbed his cock teasing long me, collecting the wetness that seeped out to greet him as I moaned in response.

"Did you miss me, baby?" he asked me in a low grunt as he toyed with me, taunting me as he came so close to where I needed him, yet so far away as he teasingly slid his cock back and forth.

"I missed you so much it hurts," I whispered to him, telling him more truths than what he would ever have guessed as I arched my back, urging him to take me now since I could not wait one more minute for his touch. Without another word Edward reared back and thrust hard into me, taking my breath away as he groaned low and loud.

It had been too long since we had been this close and it was always this simple dance of love that brought us back to where we needed to be after days apart. I watched as he hovered above me with his eyes half closed in pleasure and his mouth open in some form of stunned awe that always overtook him when we were like this. This was the Edward I had fallen in love with, the one who owned my heart and soul without any questions or regret.

I struggled to keep my eyes open as I watched him take his pleasure while working so hard to give me mine. He was beautiful with the look of concentration that I had memorized over years of loving him like this.

"Missed you so fucking much," he gritted out to me through clenched teeth as he thrust hard in to me as I gasped in response to feeling him so deep inside of me while my heart to skipped a beat since that was what I needed to hear. I needed to hear that he had missed me to the point of being in pain like I had for him.

There was no time to think as a molten wave of pleasure tinged with want washed over me, causing my body to arch hard against the bed as my orgasm crashed over me, robbing me of my breath just as he pulled my legs above his shoulders to gain deeper access inside. This was what I had missed; this moment where we were together and nothing else mattered but us.

I listened to his muttered curses as I cried out for him, needing him so badly that it made the ache in chest throb with what was missing. His thrusts faltered from the rhythm he had created as he pushed harder until finally he came with a loud groan that caught in my chest and vibrated throughout me. It was perfect and for that split second so were we.

Edward collapsed on top of me with a grunt as I held him tight, loving the feel of his weight pinning me down to the mattress beneath me. I lived for these moments when it was him, the real Edward, not corporate Edward with his fake smile and cold stare.

"I missed you so much," I whispered into his ear as he tried to calm his breathing. It was typically after my whisper that he would chime in as well that he had missed me, but this time I was greeted with silence that was followed by a long sigh. Slowly, he moved off of me, letting the cold air and space come between us once more.

"Bella," he began to say in a tone that was full of remorse and once I heard it I knew. He was leaving once more.

"You promised, Edward," I said as I tried to remain calm, but it was pointless.

"You promised that you would be here," I said reminding him of his promise that he would be home for the IEP meeting.

"You promised that you would not make me go alone," I said in a more frantic tone as I looked at him with an expectant look that he answered with a guilty look of his own.

"What do you want me to do?' he asked me in a haughty tone as if I was asking too much for him to be at my side as we discussed what our daughter's educational goals should be for the first time.

"Do you think I don't want to be there?" he asked me as I closed my eyes to stop the tears from falling once more. I would not let him see me cry again since it didn't matter. My tears meant nothing to him since he would often accuse me of trying to manipulate him with those same tears.

"Of course you do," I said in a quiet tone without bothering to hide my disappointment.

"Bella, open your eyes, baby. Look at me, please?" he asked me as I shook my head no at him. I couldn't look at him when had just had _my _Edward, not this button down version of the boy I loved.

"I would be there, but you know how it is with Paul. He can't send Ben so it has to be me," he said as I tried not to think of how Ben Cheney never traveled.

"When do you leave?" I asked him with a wince as I heard the defeat in my own voice as I opened my eyes finally to look anywhere but at him.

"Tomorrow," he whispered to me as his hands caressed my skin softly, lovingly as if his touch soften blow of knowing that he would gone once more.

"I just wish for once you would be here," I said not caring that my words were cutting and bitter even to my own ears.

"I know and I will be…. You know the traveling has to slow down. It can't stay at this pace forever," Edward said as he zoned out before launching into the usual gripes about business travel, but I knew the truth. He liked to go since it made him feel important. It was a power thing to him and he didn't care that it was costing me my sanity.

"Besides, you don't need me there. You'll do great without me since you always do," he said with a grin that was meant to be encouraging, but it just left me hollow inside.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! I will be posting a cleaned up version of this later on since I have found a beta willing to correct all of my epic mistakes.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The room was filled with people I had never met before. They were all there supposedly in my child's best interest, yet not a one of them had ever met Lillie. They didn't know that she loved to dance or that she could spend hours looking at books. They had no idea about my girl; all they knew of her was what was in the damn report from the evaluation team that I had seen a week earlier.

"Mrs. Cullen, if you're ready," the woman who represented the administration said as I looked around the room one last time as my anxiety took over. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this since I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't know what was best or how I should respond. I had no idea over how to go about getting the help I needed for my baby, yet I was the one in charge or so they said.

"Could I have just one minute?"I asked in a foreign voice as every pair of eyes turned to look at me in surprise as if they had never had a mother on the verge of a nervous breakdown before. I scurried out of my chair and out into the hallway as I gasped for the air that refused to fill my lungs, but before I could find the air I needed so desperately collided with large warm body that knocked back on to my ass with a loud unlady like grunt.

"I…I am so sorry," I heard a man call to me as I sat on the hard titled floor trying to take a moment that never seemed to be there.

"Are you ok?' I heard the man ask me in a worried tone as I waved off his hand, but he refused me. Instead, I felt his large warm hand take hold of mine firmly causing me to grip his as if he was my life line in this mess of a situation.

"I am so sorry. I just didn't expect anyone to come out of that room. I mean, no one is ever in that room," he stuttered on as I was pulled to standing once more. It was only then that I looked at the man. He was tall, taller than Edward with wide shoulders. He had dark curly hair cut short in effort to control the curls and warm, friendly blue eyes that sparkled with life. He was dressed completely in white as if he was an angel except for the beat up looking work boots he wore.

"That's ok," I managed to speak as I continued to hold his hand. "I just had to get out of there," I gasped as his eyes went from mine back to the conference room that I had managed to escape.

"Oh," he said with a knowing look as he looked me over as if he was looking for my child. Lillie wasn't here. She was back at home safely playing with her sisters, far away from this bureaucratic mess that I had put in place for her.

"Hey, don't let them scare you," he said in a kind whisper as he continued to let me hold his hand for support. "They only want to help," he finished with a sad grin as he held my eye contact like he was willing me to calm down.

"I know, it's just that…" I stammered on trying to explain what I was going through, but there was no need since I could tell he knew.

"It's your baby. I know, I get it," he said as he motioned towards his side, drawing my attention away from his baby blue eyes to a small shadow that hovered close by. At a closer look I found a small boy with dark hair and big blue eyes. He was almost too pretty to be real.

"This is my son, Sam," he said with pride as he motioned towards the boy remained silent while watching me with too wise of eyes.

"Nice to meet you Sam," I said with a smile that was probably the first smile I had given all day. The boy didn't respond, but that was ok.

"Sam is nonverbal," he man explained as I nodded my head since I indentified with that. I understood nonverbal children. I understood them all too well since I had a non verbal child of my own.

"I'm Bella Cullen," I said with a smile as I looked towards the man whose hand I still held in the middle of a silent hallway.

"Emmett McCarty and it's a pleasure to meet you," he said with soft smile that warmed me from the inside as we slowly shook hands.

The door from the conference room swung open causing us both to jump in surprise as the woman advised me that they all were waiting on me. It was embarrassing, yet I hated to let this man go. He knew what I was dealing with. He knew I was scared and more importantly, he understood why since he was scared for his child as well.

"You'll be fine, I promise," he whispered to me and with one last squeeze of my hand he let go of me so I could return to the meeting.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The peace of the grocery store and the stillness of doing the mundane lulled me into an almost cationic state as I pushed a cart from aisle to aisle while scratching items off my grocery list. One by one the basket was filled until I was left with the task of ordering a birthday cake. Lillie would be turning three and while that was exciting I was also dreading it since once she was three she would start the intensive preschool.

I walked slowly over the bakery since it was decided that we would have a store bought cake this year since I could not master the skills of cake decorating enough to make her a cake with a picture perfect Olivia the Pig. I was waiting to speak with the baker when I heard someone call out my name.

"Bella!" I heard in a loud, high pitched tone that made me internally cringe since I knew who it was.

"Hey Angela," I said as I turned to face Ben Cheney's wife. She looked happy and why wouldn't she be? Ben came home to her every night. He rarely traveled and he had Edward to thank for that.

"Oh my god, I just had to stop you and tell you what an amazing husband you have," she gushed on as I smiled patiently waiting to hear about all the saintly acts that Edward had done to make her life easier.

"Yeah, he's pretty great," I managed to say while eyeing the baker who gave me an apologetic look as she continued to work with the elderly woman who could not decide between banana muffins or blueberry.

"He is taking that trip to Huntsville next week so Ben can go to our little Michael's six month well check," she said in such a pleased tone with a bright grin as I gawked at her in shock.

"Next week?" I questioned in a harsh tone as she flinched before me.

"Yeah, he said you had some family things, but they could wait until he got home," she said as she looked at me confused.

"Yeah, some family thing like Lillie's birthday," I hissed at her causing her to back up in surprise. "When did you talk to him?" I asked her as I watched her fidget nervously before me.

"I saw him this morning when I met Ben for lunch. I had no idea, Bella. He said it was no big thing. I mean, just know how much I appreciate that he's willing to do this for Ben and me," she stammered as I felt my face flush red rage over his casual dismissal of our daughter's birthday.

"I can't imagine doing this without Ben and we only have the one while you have four," she said with a half laugh as if she was trying to make a joke, but there was nothing funny about this.

"I mean, I can't even imagine how you do it without Edward around. You are just so much stronger than me," she said trying to make a recovery, but there was no recovery to make.

"I have no choice but to be strong, Angela, since my husband is too busy covering for yours," I hissed at her, making her flinch with my words.

"I should go," she said in a whisper as she looked away from me looking wounded, but I didn't care. I was tired being the only one hurt.

"You should," I mumbled in anger as I watched her scramble in a nervous manner to get away from me

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey baby!" Edward called out as he walked in the house. He was happy. I could hear it in his voice and it only added to my rage. I watched him as he walked closer to press a kiss against my cheek as I stood by the counter, holding on to it so he could not see how my hands were shaking.

"Hailey, take your sisters back to your room," I called out to my oldest who looked at me with a questioning look, but she did as she was told. She was a good girl like that. She also knew I was angry and had been since coming home from the grocery store. Edward watched as the children shuffled by him while greeting him with hugs and hellos. I could hear him asking Hailey what had happened and her mumbled response that she didn't know.

I waited until they were all in the back and the TV was blaring before I turned to him. He had the deer caught in the head lights look on his face as he watched me while unsure of what do or say.

"When were you planning on telling me?" I asked him as he looked at me confused, but it was all bullshit.

"What? Being home this week was too much for you?" I mocked as he watched me slowly build up my anger into a fiery rage.

"What are you talking about?" he asked me in confusion, but his stuttering response only made me laugh at him.

"I had the most interesting conversation today with Angela Cheney," I said and then watched his face go pale with sick satisfaction.

"The way she was singing your praises Edward, you are sure to be canonized," I said with a cruel smile as he watched me with a nervous look on his face.

"Bella," he started to say, but I stopped him.

"I don't want to hear about your pathetic excuses or how Paul needs you to be there, because I know it's a fucking lie!" I yelled at him in anger as he stood his ground.

"You volunteered, Edward!" I screamed at him as I felt the rush of anger was over me.

"You don't understand…" he began out as he looked at me with a steady gaze as if I was the one who had lost their fucking mind and not him.

"You are sure as hell right about that, so why don't you tell me why you would choose to go to Huntsville instead of being in town for your daughter's birthday?" I demanded as he stood his ground.

"Ben…It's his first kid and he wants to be there for the doctor's appointments," he stated lamely as he looked at me, willing me to understand his reasoning.

"So you thought you'd help him at the cost of your own daughter?" I asked in a low hiss as he looked at me with an angry, yet embarrassed look.

"I had forgotten about Lillie's birthday, ok? Is that what you want to hear? You want to hear that I'm a shitty dad who forgot his kid's birthday?" he yelled at me as if yelling at me made the situation better.

"What do you want me to do Bella?" he asked me as I glared at him.

"Do you really need to ask me that?" I asked him as he looked at me with a sad look, telling me that he truly had no idea what he was to do from this point.

"Edward, you need to call Ben and tell him that he has to go. You need to tell him that you can't do it," I said as I looked at him while he gawked at me in shock.

"You need tell him that your little _family thing_ can't wait," I said mockingly as he glared at me in anger.

"I can't do that," he said in s small voice as I growled out loud in frustration over his response.

"Why the hell can't you?" I cried as I looked at him waiting for him to say the words.

"I promised him, Bella. I gave him my word," he said as he looked at me as if his word was supposed to mean something when we both knew at our house his promises were meaningless.

"I don't care," I said defiantly as he shook his head no at me.

"I am sorry, baby I really fucked up, I know it, but I can't go back on it," he said while looking at me with such a sorrowful look that t made me sick.

"We'll just celebrate her birthday on Saturday," he offered lamely as he looked at me with a hopeful look, but I was not in the mood to be hopeful.

"Her birthday is Thursday, Edward, Thursday, not Saturday," I said firmly as I looked at him, not caring that he was look as if I was ripping his heart out over my refusal to agree with him.

"We will celebrate her birthday on her birthday and if you're here, you're here and if not so be it," I said firmly, but he could see how badly my hands were shaking from anger and hurt as I dragged a hand through my hair.

"Bella, come on…I feel bad enough, you can't punish me for…" he started to say, but I stopped him.

"So, Lillie should be punished instead?" I asked him silencing him with my question.

"I'm sorry you fucked up, but we are not changing things all because you wanted to be a great guy for Ben and not for us," I said as I looked at him, daring him to deny my words, but he wisely remained silent instead.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The birthday party went as planned. It was a somewhat sad event since it was just me and the girls, but we made the best of it. Edward called us from his hotel, but I was in no mood to talk.

"Maybe when I get home I can take her out," he offered in soft voice that was scratchy as if he had cried.

"DO as you want," I offered as I watched Lillie play with the stuffed dog we had bought her that day. She loved that he had roller skates and was dragging him all over the house.

"I'm trying here, Bella," Edward said softly as if I should feel something for him, but I felt nothing except for anger.

"Her first day of school is next week, will you be here?" I asked him as I closed my eyes and held my breath.

"Yeah, I'll be in town," he said with a sneer in his voice that made me shake my head.

"Stop it," I hissed at him in anger as I watched our daughters play together.

"I have to ask because if I don't you won't tell," I growled at him as I stood up and walked away from the mess and confusion that the girls were causing around me.

"It's not like I enjoy being gone," he said in harsh tone as I rolled my eyes over his words since that was a lie. He had once told me that he enjoyed traveling. He liked being treated as if he was something special. He liked being called _Mr. Cullen _and having a hotel staff cater to his every whim because he was gold on whatever fucking level of frequent traveler program they offered. He liked flying first class and waiting in the special area away from the so called common travelers. He liked to travel so his words did nothing but burn me from the inside out.

"You like it, Edward. You told me so, so stop denying it now," I hissed at him while he grouched a response.

"Listen, I don't have time for your pity party so just tell me will you be able to go with me to drop Lillie off on her first day of preschool or not?" I asked him in a much harsher tone that what I had planned on.

My question was met with silence and that was all the answer I needed.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Sorry about the delay on posting. I am trying to finish this story as well as the other unfinished stories I have out there so I may move on properly.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The school was an art museum that the school district had bought for nothing. It was all glass and metal. It was bright and there were flowers all around it. I hated it.

I sat in the van watching other families bring their children in since this preschool was a year round school. It was pointless though since he speech therapist was not in the building from June to August, yet here I was in July waiting to bring my child inside.

I didn't want her to start until the speech therapist was back making her rounds, but then agreed that a few weeks to adjust to the class room rules and other children her age was not all that bad of any idea since Lillie was used to getting her way and playing with older kids.

"Baby, are you ready?" I asked her as I turned to look at my youngest. Her blonde hair was tangled from the wind since she loved to have the windows down. She never looked at me or responded, but I was used to that. She never responded so this wasn't new.

"Ok," I said with a shaky breath as I opened my car door and got out.

I could do this.

I would do this.

I would turn my nonverbal child over to people, to teaches, and have to trust that they would be kind to her.

I hated that I had to do this, but for Lillie I would walk through the fires of hell if I thought it would help her talk.

"Ok, baby, let's go inside," I said in a bright tone as she finally looked at me with her all too wise blue eyes. She knew I was nervous. She could see it. She may not speak, but she was far from dumb. She was bright, too bright and we had the test scores to prove that with her reasoning ability being one of a seven year old even though she was a three year old child.

"It will be fine," I whispered to her n the most reassuring tone I could muster, even though I had no idea if it would nor not. Lillie never responded, instead she just looked away again.

"Let's go see Ms. Lisa," I said, reminding her of her teacher's name, as I unbuckled her from her car seat to begin our adventure.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I walked Lillie to her room and once she was settled with her hands washed and waiting at the table for what would be her second breakfast of the morning I turned to leave. I hated leaving her and her teacher knew this.

"I promise it will be fine, Bella," the young girl said as she quickly read the panic in my eyes as I stood in the door way, unsure if I should stay or grab my baby and just go.

"I know," I whispered back since I did know that it would most likely be fine, but that rational side of me did nothing that comfort the irrational one that envisioned every possible worst case scenario that could happen. With one last look back at Lillie as she picked between frosted flakes and cinnamon toast crunch cereal, I left.

I had barely made it out to the minivan before the tears started. I knew that one day that she would go to preschool. I knew this, but this was different. I was leaving my girl who couldn't tell me about her day alone with virtual strangers.

I sat in the driver's seat wiping at my tears while other parents stared. It was embarrassing, yet I didn't care. I looked around at the crowd of parents that took the trek back and forth between the school and found a familiar set of blue eyes. It was the man from the IEP meeting. He was met my teary eyed stare with an understand smile as he walked closer to the van.

"First day?" he asked as he stood there with a warm, yet sad smile, as if he understood. I nodded as I wiped at my eyes before raking my fingers through my hair.

"It'll get better," he said with a grin before turning back towards a white work truck that was loaded down with ladders and whatnot.

I barely had time to say thank you before my phone rang loud with what had always been _our _song and now was the ring tone I had given to Edward.

"Hey baby, how'd it go?" I heard my husband ask me in a soft, worried tone as I watched the other man get in his truck to leave.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Day melted into one into another and soon the other girls were in school. The mornings were busy with girls screaming trying to get dressed, but once they all were at school I was left alone in the silence of the tomb of our house I missed them. I missed the noise and the chaos. I missed being needed since sitting in the silence made me feel as empty as the house was.

Lillie had taken to preschool well, but I wasn't surprised. She was a social girl who wanted friends and loved to play. It went completely against everything that they tried to tell me about her, yet being social was just her. I would just smile and bite my tongue from screaming _I told you so_ whenever her teacher would greet me with some example of Lillie attempting to make friends. They always underestimated my baby and I hated them for it.

"Mrs. Cullen, do you have a moment?" I heard Kathy the director call out to me as I attempted to escape the building. I hated when she would call me aside to talk. It was never good no matter how she tried to present it.

"Sure," I mumbled as I rain a hand through my dark hair, knowing that I looked like hell in my yoga pants and long sleeve t-shirt with my running shoes on.

"I wasn't sure if Ms. Sara told you or not, but starting next week she will be out of the class room for three weeks. We hate to do this especially since Lillie is a new student, but the training is unavoidable so," she stated as she tried off while giving me an even look before taking a sip of her cup of tea that she always toted around in the mornings.

I knew that look on her face. She was waiting for me freak out and while I wanted to since I knew that subtle changes would affect Lillie, I refused to do so in front of her.

"We do have a great replacement in mind so I'm asking you not to worry," she continued on as I held her gaze with more confidence than what I felt inside.

"I'm sure it will be fine," I replied as she nodded happily before babbling on about the great adjustments that Lillie was making in the room before shooing me out the door as if I had something to do besides going home to sit in the silence of my tomb.

It was while dashing through the down pour of cold rain that I came to an abrupt halt in front of my van as I found one of the front tires flat.

"Damn it," I muttered as I looked on unsure of what to do now, even though I knew what needed to be done. I clenched the phone on my pocket as a fleeting thought of called Edward entered my mind and then quickly left as I remembered that he was in meetings all this morning over some project that he would be overseeing.

I found myself unlocking the car so I could get inside while reminding myself that this was nothing. I had this covered. I had road side assistance so some other person would change the tire I just had to wait it out and I could that since waiting for someone was something I did every day.

I had barely pulled out the number when there was a soft tap on my window. It was soft, yet since I wasn't expecting it I still jumped in fright as I turned to find the man who greeted me every morning with the same warm smile.

"You need some help?" he called out to me over the sound of the rain. I had no idea how much help I needed.

I scrambled to turn the car on to roll down the power windows to speak to him. The rain was cold as it splashed on to me while pelting him hard as he stood there.

"No thank you. I called Triple A and they are sending someone out to change the tire," I said as he nodded his head as if he was pleased to hear this.

"How long before they get here?" he asked me, catching me off guard with his question since typically once it was established that I was fine people would move on.

"About an hour," I replied with a shrug as he nodded again

"You want to get some coffee while you wait?" he asked me with a smile as he jerked his thumb towards the donut shop that was down the street from the preschool.

I stared at him dumbfounded for a moment. It had been years since anyone had invited me out, let alone a man.

"I don't know," I replied as I felt the sick feeling of panic mixed with an odd excitement wash over me. I wanted to go, yet knew I shouldn't and the reason was glaring at me.

"I promise that I'm not a serial killer," he said abruptly in a nervous tone that made me laugh out loud since the thought had flickered through my irrational mind.

"Good to know," I giggled as he smiled brightly at me for the space of a heart beat.

"Come on," he shrugged with a grin that was pretty to be on a boy and just enough to make me uncomfortable. It had been too long since pretty boys smiled at me.

I soon found myself being whisked away from my van and seated inside of his truck while listened to his apologizes over how cluttered it was.

"So, Bella, right?" he questioned as he watched me buckle up before starting the truck.

"Yeah, Bella Cullen," I repeated for him while watching him nod as if he remembered.

"And you are Emmett?" I asked as he pulled out on to the road, turning towards the shop just like he had promised.

"Emmett McCarty at your service," he stated while flashing me a quick grin that made my stomach flip flop a little before focusing back on the road.

Emmett pulled in and parked at the donut shop with ease. He got out and opened my car door before shooing me towards the glass doors of the shop with a grunt while standing in the rain.

Once inside we ordered coffee and sat down. I expected silence or some form of awkwardness to settle over us, but it wasn't there. Instead, I found a warm conversation that lasted for an hour and covered nothing. Emmett was funny and kind. He asked about my children and talked about the woes of having an only child while sharing that he always had wanted more. He made me laugh and asked for my number while giving me his with the promise that we would do this again.

"I don't really know the other parents here," I confessed as he drove back to the preschool. I could see the truck beside my van already waiting for me.

"Now you do," he laughed as he parked his truck and waited for me to get out. There were words I wanted to say. I wanted to thank him for just being decent, but that seemed wrong somehow so instead, I just said a simple thank you while hoping he knew that his kindness made my day.

"No problem, Bee," he said with a grin that made me laugh a little as I felt my long forgotten blush heat my face.

"It's ok that I called you that, right?" he asked me, looking more worried than what he should have over a meaningless nickname.

"No, that's… that's great. My dad used to call me that, so yeah…that's fine," I stuttered as I looked out at the old man who was waiting rather impatiently for me to unlock my van so he could get started.

"Good," he muttered as he looked away before saying good bye once last time as he left me in the capable hands of the tow truck guy who was sent to change the tire.

"See you later," I called to him as I got out of his truck with my coffee in hand. I watched him drive away before being pulled back into the moment by the man sent to change the tire.

"You ready, Mrs. Cullen?" he asked pulling me away from the thoughts of Emmett and his calm kindness so I could focus on the matter at hand.

It was hours later with Emmett somewhat forgotten as I sat at the kitchen table across from Edward while our daughters chatted over dinner.

"So, babes, anything exciting happen today?" he asked me with a grin that I had memorized from our years together. It was that grin that had won my heart years ago and now a grin that I rarely saw any more so when I did I treasured it.

My mind raced with his innocent question. It was filled with images of a flat tire and laughter over coffee while the rain pelted the glass we sat by. This was my chance to tell him about the morning I had endured and the kindness of another man, but the words weren't there.

"Nope, nothing," I replied with a grin that felt off, but Edward didn't notice as he launched into what was going on at work while the children bickered around us.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Days pass and as they do I see Emmett in passing. It seemed wrong to talk to him, yet I wanted to. I wanted to know about his crazy mother whom he lived with and the one eyed cat named Pete that slept on the foot of his bed. I wanted to know about his son and why they lived with Emmett's mom. There was too much I wanted to know even though I knew I shouldn't be so interested in him.

I could make it through my day and smile at all the right times. I could help my girls with homework and kiss them good night. I could shower and crawl into bed beside Edward while allowing him to pull me close against him, but as his lips brushed my skin, teasing me with raspy promises of pleasure, yet I could not focus on him. I kissed him and welcomed him into my body with a moaning whisper of his name on my lips that made him groan in response, but as I looked into his eyes lust dilated eyes I could only see Emmett's blue one's staring back at me.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Sorry so short.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I watched him pack. He had been home for two weeks. Fourteen days were supposed to fix everything between us.

"Don't look at me like that," he said in a hard tone without looking at me as he pushed on his clothes while trying to make more room.

"How am I supposed to look at you?" I asked him, not bothering to hide my irritation. He knew I wasn't happy. He knew it and didn't give a care that I was.

"I was home…" he countered back, but I just laughed at him and his weak excuse.

"Yes, I know. You were home for fourteen days. You gave me fourteen days to shut me up. I know you and how you work," I growled at him as he stopped packing to look at me. His green eyes held anger and guilt. He couldn't lie to me. I knew him too well.

"Bella…" he began, but I shook my head.

"Don't deny it," I stated firmly as I crossed my arms over my chest as if I was protecting my heart, but there was nothing left to protect. It had shattered years ago with his carelessness.

"I have to go and you know it. I have to work and there is no escaping traveling. You know this," he said in a firm tone, talking down to me as if I were a child. I hated it when he spoke like that to me, as if I was the one who didn't understand.

"I understand that you have to work. I understand that you _choose _to travel because you think it makes you invaluable to people who could give a fuck about you or me or the kids," I hissed through gritted teeth as I struggled to maintain my temper, but it was too late. My temper was gone and my mood was shot.

"Damn it, Bella!" he yelled at me, but I screamed over his outrage.

"You choose this Edward so don't tell me how this is your job, because it's not. And I didn't sign up for this. I didn't agree to be with someone who was never home!" I screamed at him as he glared at me.

"I'm not happy, Edward," I screamed at him, earning an sarcastic shake of his head and eye roll like he always did when I told him I wasn't happy.

"What the fuck do you want me to do?" he yelled at me as he dragged a heavy hand through his hair, pulling at the thick strands as it made its pass.

"I want you to pick us," I breathed out in a ragged sigh as he looked at me with wild eyes that looked nothing like the man I loved.

"I always pick us," he breathed out as he looked at me with hard eyes and the scowl that had long replaced his smile.

"No, you always pick _you_, Edward," I whispered before turning to leave alone to finish packing without my help or watchful eye.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**There seems to be some questions here so I will try to address them. I have stated in the author's note of the very first chapter that this will be a Bella cheater fic. The warning is firmly in place. What isn't in place is what that cheating will be. To some lusting after another is cheating, as is impure thoughts. To others cheating can be emotional only while others it is only cheating if it's full on sex. Any which way you look at it I am restating here that this is a Bella (not Edward) cheater fic so proceed with caution if that is something you try to avoid.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Moline International Airport was exactly thirty-two minutes from my house when I drove on interstate two-eighty. It was a quiet drive with little traffic for a Sunday afternoon, but the stillness of drive offered little relief from my jumbled nerves as I drove Edward there. He had whispered his good-byes to our girls, making them each promise to be mindful and helpful before kissing them on the cheek. He had held Lillie close and whispered in her ear, asking her to make the same promise as her sisters. I could not stop the smile that filled my face as she gave him a loud and somewhat clear yes while her sister applauded her talking. It was the little things when it came to her.

Once at the airport I parked in the departure lane and watched as Edward got out of the van without a look back. He was going to grab his stuff before giving me my good bye. We hadn't spoken more than three words in the last two hours, so this good would be awkward.

"Hailey, would you watch your sisters for a moment?" I asked my oldest who sat in the front row seat of the back of the minivan beside Lillie. She nodded as I got out of the van to meet him. I never did this. Normally when we dropped him off it was with a kiss and promise to call as he landed in Chicago and then once more as he landed wherever he was headed, but this time I needed more.

I stood there and looked at him as he sat his suitcase on the sidewalk before turning to face me with tired eyes that I knew all too well. We stood there looking at each other for a moment before he reached out and pulled me to him. He wrapped around me tightly, making it impossible to breathe as he buried his face into my neck. I could feel his lips warm and soft against my skin as he kissed me there while breathing me in.

"I hate this Bella," he whispered into my ear as we held each other tight.

"I hate the fights and …" he began as I nodded in agreement. I hated fighting with him, but what I hated most was that it was the same damn fight over and over again.

"I'm sorry, baby," he murmured against my skin as I murmured my own weak apologies to him, not that it mattered. We were always sorry. We always promised to change, but the change never happened. We always ended up here standing in the drop off lane of the making promises that never happened while kissing good bye.

Edward moved just enough without letting me go so that his forehead was pressed against mine. We were tangled together, staring into each other's eyes, just like we had done countless times before. It was like this that I once knew that Edward Cullen was my forever just by looking into his eyes and this was no different. I could still see forever, but that forever seemed so distant that it left cold inside.

"Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you," he pleaded in a low whisper that had a desperate tone to it before pressing a soft kiss against my lips that made me want to cry.

"I want you," I whispered back to him, letting him hear the fear of losing him in my voice while letting him see the worry in my eyes as he looked at me.

"You have me," he pleaded with me even though we both knew it was a lie. I didn't have him. I had the shadow of him. I had his laundry and his phone calls. I had his kisses good byes and his passionate fucks hello. I had his whispered _I miss you's_ and his _I promise this is the last trip for a while's._ I had all of these, but I didn't have him.

"I just want you," I whispered to him slowly, willing him to understand what I was saying to him. I could tell by the pained look in his eyes that he didn't as he kept whispering that I was all his in-between feather soft kisses that pleaded with me.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered to him as he held my face in his hands like I was a delicate flower, and I was delicate. I was fragile. I was on the verge of breaking, shattering apart because I loved him so damn much, yet there was nothing that I could do to make him see this simple truth or me. I needed him to see me, the me that he had over looked for years.

"I love you," he whispered back to me with a reverence that made me heart ache as he held my face, forcing me to look into his eyes that were so green with their honesty that they hurt to look at. Slowly, ever so slowly, he pressed his lips against mine in a soft kiss that left me breathless just like he always did with his too sweet of kisses.

We stood there holding each other tight, oblivious to the people passing by or our own children bickering in the van behind us, as we embraced.

"I gotta go, baby," he whispered almost against my lips as he loosened his grip on me while I held to him even tighter, forcing him to stay with me those few extra seconds before he had to leave me once more.

"I'll call you from Chicago," he whispered forlornly as he untangled himself from me before grabbing the handle of his suitcase. It was with one last kiss and a lingering look Edward left me once more.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I stood in line waiting for my chance to order popcorn and pop before the movie started, marveling over the chaos around me. It was a Tuesday night which meant five dollar movies at the nice theater in town. It also meant that it would be packed with other cheapskates like me, not that I cared. I was just happy to be out of the house for an hour or two while my mom watched the kids.

"Bella?" I heard someone call to me as I stood there staring at the menu as if I had never seen it before, even though I knew it all by heart.

"Bella Cullen?" I heard someone call, causing me to jump in surprise since I wasn't used to seeing when I was out, let alone when I wanted to be alone so I found myself irritated as I turned to find a smiling Emmett McCarty standing before me. He looked handsome and somewhat formal in dark jeans and a button down blue shirt that seemed to make his eyes a deeper shade of blue. Just seeing him looking nice only added to my embarrassment as I stood before him in yoga pants and a pink t-shirt as if I was going for a long overdue run instead of settling in for two of mind numbing nonsense.

"Hey Emmett," I managed to say as he smiled bright and happy for me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me as I shrugged since the answer was obvious.

"Are you here alone?" he asked as he looked around briefly before settling his gaze upon me once more. I felt my face flame red as I stuttered before him.

"Yeah…Uhm…My husband is..." I sputtered as I bit back the words before telling him that Edward was out of town since it made me seem pathetic somehow and going to movies alone was pathetic enough.

"There you are!" a woman exclaimed just as she slipped her arm through his, laying claim to him as if I were a threat. She was pretty with her blonde curls; red lips and short dress that screamed date night to me.

"I told you I was going to get us some popcorn," Emmett chided with a laugh as he turned towards his companion with a smile, giving me the perfect opportunity to slip away unnoticed into the crowd that surrounded us.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I had successfully avoided Emmett the next day at school as I had discovered that if I arrived five minutes later instead of right at eight he would be gone. It made my mornings less stressful when I knew I wouldn't see him, even though there was no reason to avoid him. He had done nothing wrong, yet I felt wronged somehow. It was ridiculous really and I knew it, but knowing this didn't stop me from avoiding him at all.

I carried on this way, dodging him, until I found myself on a sunny Friday morning blocked in by a large white truck with ladders hanging off of it.

"I'm starting to think that you're avoiding me," I heard him call out with a laugh as I stood before my minivan, unsure as to what I should do since there was no escape for me. I was forced to deal with him even if I didn't want to.

"So, is it true?" Emmett asked me as he stepped out of the shadows with a small grin on his face that looked more concerned than playful.

"Hey Emmett," I breathed out as I fought off the panic of being caught by the man I didn't want to see. He watched me closely and that only added to my panic.

"It was a set up," he replied bluntly, forcing me back into the conversation instead of staring into his blue eyes, but his words confused me.

"Tuesday night. It was a set up by my sister. She thinks I need to get out more," he offered rapidly as if he was the guilty one, not me.

"_It's not right for a person to be alone all the time,"_ he mocked in a high pitched tone that was clearly his sister's. It made me want to laugh along with him, but his words hit too close to comfort for me to even smile.

"Oh," I offered lamely since it was clear he was waiting for me to say something.

"How did it go?" I asked while choking on the words since I didn't want to hear about it. Maybe it was jealousy, but I just did want to know.

Emmett stood there for a moment before letting out a loud laugh that surprised me while lightening the air between us.

"Horrible," he laughed brightly while flushing red from what could have been embarrassment. It was a cute laugh that caused me to smile in return while a flickering of danger and maybe something more ran through my system like a wild fire.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"It's just one more week and then I'll be home. I promise you, Bella," he whispered to me in soft voice that was laced with what could have been uncertainty, but I knew better. This was his go to sad voice when he was attempting to break bad news to me or begging forgiveness. More than likely now it was all about forgiveness, but to be honest I wasn't even mad any more. I was so used to being second in his life that this was nothing.

"I promise when I get home…" he began, but I just toned him out. I couldn't listen to his empty promises any longer since they were the same one he had spoken to before countless times when telling me how he was only coming home just to leave again.

"Edward, I gotta go," I cut him off mid promise in a tone that was brisk and abrupt. I could hear the gasp of surprise in his tone as his sputtered his lame response.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to hear your voice," he half growled to me, showing more than telling me that my cold attitude had reached its mark and left him stinging in response. It made me want to laugh since how many times had I said the same words to him only to be dismissed once more.

"I'm just tired," I tried to explain without coming outright to say that I was tired if him never being at home or keeping the promises that he would make in vain to appease me.

"I know you are," he muttered with a sigh as if he understood, but he had no idea. How could he when I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to walk away from the responsibilities that loomed over my head to focus on what I needed to succeed every day like what he did on a daily basis.

The silence between us was cold and haunting as there was nothing more to say.

"May I call you in the morning?" he asked me softly, bringing tears to my eyes since it had been ages since he had asked if it was ok to call me. Up until now it had always just been assumed that he would.

"Of course," I mumbled, hoping like hell that he could not hear my tears that made my voice tight with its drowning sound. He didn't. He never heard me anymore.

"Love you," I whispered to him, but he was already gone.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Another Tuesday cheap movie night alone, except this time I had taken precautions. I had not lingered in the lobby like a lost pup while debating between gummy bears and junior mints. I had thought ahead and packed my purse with treats from the drug store by the theater in order to avoid the crowd, or any one I might know in the crowd. It left me free time to sit in the back of the movie theater and watch as people came in to claim a seat.

_What are you doing?_

Edward had taken to texting me more often, and while it was nice it was just another reminder of how far apart we were.

**Waiting on the movie to start.**

_You went alone? You know I hate it when you do that. It's dangerous to be out like that by yourself._

I did know that he hated it when I went by myself to an evening movie. He claimed that it was dangerous for me to walk to the car all alone in the dark. May it was. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe I went not just to see the movie, but because I knew it would cause a reaction. It was pathetic that evening movies while mom watched the kids was my chosen form of rebellion against him.

**Maybe you should come home sometime and actually go out with me.**

I knew my words would sting, but more than that I knew they would silence him since I knew he would sulk and then stew over my burn. I was too lost in the bitchiness that I was giving Edward to notice the person who stood before me.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I mumbled as I jumped to move my legs and purse so the man would be able get by, but he didn't move. I looked up in confusion to find Emmett McCarthy standing there. He was dressed in track pants and a sweatshirt that looked comfortable. It was far cry from date night Emmett that I had seen last week. He wore a smile on his face that showed his amusement at my over the top reaction to being rude by blocking the aisle.

"Is this seat taken?" he asked me with laughter still in his voice as he motioned towards the empty seat beside me. I shook my head no since I could not seem to find my voice to say anything and then watched as he sat down beside me just as the lights began to dim.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The theater was dark as the first trailers began to play for upcoming attractions, but instead of easing myself into mind-numbing relaxation, I was on edge. It was Emmett. He was too close. I could practically feel him breathing as he sat next to me and I could, without a doubt, feel the warmth from his body against the icy air that always seemed to fill the movie theater.

"What's wrong?" His breath was cool as it washed over my neck and smelled of the mint candies he had been eating. It was oddly comforting and maddening all at once since I could not think of the last time I was this close to anyone outside of Edward.

"Nothing," I stuttered in response, turning in the darkness to look at the man who had invaded my thoughts and now had stolen the seat next to me.

Even the dark, I could see the outline of his face. Emmett was a handsome man as much as it hurt to admit. It with his long lashes and perfectly sculpted cheekbones that begged for me touch them, followed up by a nose that was slightly crooked. He was too pretty to be so masculine, yet he was and that left me with a nervous twist in my belly as I sat too close to him.

"Why are you here?" I blurted out over the blaring music of what could be the next fall blockbuster.

If my words shocked him, he hid it well behind that sweet smirk of his and looked at me with eyes that were washed silver instead of the blue that haunted my dreams.

"What are you doing here?" he retorted with a chuckle as I shook my head since that wasn't the answer I wanted from him.

"Where's your date?" I demanded harshly, as if I had any rights to him or what he did without me. It was a boldly stupid question, yet I needed to know. I was dying of curiosity, even though I had no reason to be. I was a married woman who was far from happy, yet married all the same. I had no business asking him these questions, yet they escaped from my lips as if my heart was screaming them out loud.

Emmett's eyes went wide with surprise over my rude question before curving into a smile that was sweet, yet dangerous looking. It was that dark look that made my heart race, sending a shocking wave of want through my veins that had long been missing in my world. It made me feel like I had touched a live wire, my body vibrated with a need that had been long over looked.

"Where's your husband?' he responded with a smirk that was an equal mix of want and a promise of what could be that made me gasp in surprise, as if he had touched me before the image of my husband flickered through my mind, crushing the surge of want with an ice cold wave of guilt.

**AN: **

**Thanks for reading! **

**There has been a question if this story will end in an HEA or not. To be honest, I never say yes or not since I honestly believe that I have ended all of my stories with what I consider would be the proper ending. I know that's not really saying much, but it's the best answer I can provide for you outside of saying that I had the ending for this fic played out in my head before I ever wrote the first word.**

**Thanks to Marie for a clean up job of this chapter. 3 3**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I found myself being walked out to my car under the careful guidance of Emmett. He was everywhere around me. He had made it where I could not concentrate on the movie, since I was too busy concentrating on his breathing or his laughter during the funny parts.

"You always go to the movies by yourself?" he asked me as we paused in front of my red Toyota minivan that screamed kids and a lifestyle that was far from sexy.

"Sometimes," I admitted with a nervous smile as I watched him look around us in the somewhat busy parking lot.

"It's not the safest thing in the world, you know," he said with a smart ass half smirk that only stoked the fire of anger inside of me, which was started by my absent husband.

"I can take care of myself," I countered back with more bravado than what I felt, causing him to laugh at me as we stood there in the cooling summer night air.

"I have no doubt that you can," he said with a smile that made me blush since it was as if he believed it. It was a powerful feeling since I knew Edward didn't. He had never believed that I was capable of taking care of myself and that was always problem between us, but Emmett believed in me. I could see the belief in his soft grin. It made my heart pound in my chest. My face burned with pride and embarrassment that he could bring me back to being a school girl with such a simple compliment.

"You want to get a cup of coffee?" Emmett asked me abruptly as we stood together, trying to make small talk, but failing miserably.

"I don't know…" I stammered as I looked away from him. A wave of uncertainty mixed with an age old excitement made me feel as if I could not breathe.

"I mean…" I began, but he cut me off with a soft grin making my stomach flip flop inside of me.

"It's just Starbuck's and it'll be my treat," he continued with the smile that made me nervous and happy all at once.

"Why?" I asked him softly before kicking myself for needing to know why he was so insistent on us together, even though I liked the idea of it as well.

"I just…I just think we could be friends," he stammered on as he looked at me with a nervous look. It was the first time I had ever witnessed any form of doubt on this man's face and it was unnerving, yet charming all at once.

"I mean, it's tough to be alone and I always see you alone and so I was just thinking that…" he continued sputtering as I stood there hugging myself warm despite the heat of the summer night air around us.

"I'm not alone," I interrupted him, causing him to stutter to a stop as he looked at me with a confused look.

"I'm a married woman," I explained as he watched me with wide eyes that reminded me of his son.

"Trust me, I haven't forgotten that," he said softly as he looked away from me for a moment to focus on the traffic that streamed out of the parking lot around us.

"But that doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?" he asked as he turned back to look at me with a tight grin that seemed off for such an innocent request.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Thanks to NaughtyHisBella for all the corrections. 3**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Starbuck's was busy with the after movie crowd as I stood there beside him. Emmett was focused on the menu and I was more focused on my cell phone. Mom would want to know why I was late and honestly, I wasn't sure what to say.

"So, you want something to eat?" he asked, startling me as I stared at the blank screen of my phone.

"Uhm…" I stammered, looking at the glass case filled with their treats.

"I'm getting the lemon pound cake," he announced with a grin, before launching into some story about how this cake was nothing compared to his Mom's.

I had to tell mom something otherwise she would worry, so I went with the easiest and not so big of a lie.

**I met a friend from Lillie's preschool at the movie. Is it ok if I stop for coffee and talk?**

"You ok?" he asked me as I glanced at my phone once more.

"Yeah, I'll take some cake too," I mumbled as my phone vibrated in my hand with her answer.

_The babies are sleep and I'm fine so you just take your time._

"Everything ok?" Emmett asked me as I read the screen before looking up at him with a smile that felt off on my face.

"Yeah, everything is fine," I mumbled holding my phone tightly in my hands. Emmett gave me a look of uncertainty.

"I just had to make sure that the kids were fine and that mom didn't mind me being a little late," I confessed, feeling stupid that I had to ask permission to stay out.

"Oh, yeah," Emmett said with a sigh.

"I texted my mom to make sure little man was good too," he said with a half laugh, rubbing the back of his neck nervously as we stepped up to place our order. It was odd to watch him since he had stopped to ask me what I wanted. I could not think of the last time Edward had asked me what I wanted. Maybe it was because he knew what I would want after all these years of marriage or maybe because he never thought of me outside of him anymore. I wasn't sure and thinking about it hurt so I didn't. Instead, I focused on the menu before announcing that I wanted a black tea latte.

"So, tell me about you," Emmett stated simply, giving me a smile while I struggled to take a drink of my over-heated tea.

"There isn't much to tell," I sighed, feeling suddenly embarrassed about my lack of life.

"I doubt that," he chuckled before taking a bite of cake.

"I...um...I'm a stay at home mom," I mumbled as I tried to think of something to say, but I had nothing, well, nothing worth sharing.

"Ok, but I want to know about you," he said, looking at me with eyes that were too blue, when I was used to seeing green.

"What's your favorite book?" he asked. I laughed since I could not think of the last time anyone had asked me that.

"What type of food is your favorite?" he fired off with a grin, as I continued to laugh at him.

"What's the craziest thing you've ever done?" he laughed, motioning for me to go.

"The Silver Kiss by Annette Curtis Klause, Thai, and this," I sputtered with rush of embarrassment and excitement like the bumbling school girl I had become when he sat by me two hours earlier.

**AN:  
Thanks for reading! Thanks to HisNaughyBella for the kind corrections.**

**Hey if you haven't read The Silver Kiss doooo it… It's a vamp romance book and I swear to you that this is where SM got her idea for Edward, except Simon the vamp is way hotter.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"So, what do you say next Tuesday we have dinner before the movie?" Emmett asked me as I fumbled to find my keys in my over sized purse. His question caught me off guard, making me stumble into him as I took an off step from where I had been standing.

"We don't have to, I was just thinking…" he stammered as watched me with surprised eyes, as I found myself sputtering a response.

"I mean, I know what it must look like and I swear… I mean, I just like hanging out with you, know?" he stammered in a nervous manner that only added my awkward embarrassment.

"You understand what it's like to be alone and… why be alone when we could be together, right?" he asked me with a worried smile as I stared at him. He saw me as being alone and I hated it since I was alone, but more than the dislike of being alone, I loathed that he made perfect sense. There was no need to be alone when we could be together; no reason except that I was married. Married to man who was never home to be with me and when he could be, he chose to be elsewhere. It was insulting and horribly lonely.

"No, that's… That sounds fine," I managed to say as I shook my head yes, feeling more like a school girl being asked out on her first date instead of a gown woman who was just meeting her friend for dinner and then a movie. As soon as I spoke those words, Emmett smiled brightly for me. It had been ages since I had seen a smile that bright on a man's face.

"I mean, its fine for friends to meet for dinner before a movie," I stammered on as he nodded in agreement. "People do it all the time," I stated in a soothing tone, but I wasn't sure if it was him or me that I was trying to pacify with this lie.

**AN:  
Thanks for reading! Thanks to Naughty HisBella for fixing my mistakes. Love ya friend : )**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"So, who was the friend?" mom asked as she looked at me over top of her glasses without ever stopping the knitting that she never seemed to set down.

"Uhm… no one you know," I said with a sigh as I tried to shake off the guilty feeling that settled over me as she looked at me with a knowing look in her green eyes.

"Ok," she sighed as she slowly began sat her needles down while watching me. The silence was deafening as she stared at me. My heart was beating so loud that there was no doubt that she could hear it in the stillness between us.

"I know he leaves you alone too much," she said in a quiet voice. I felt the slow burn of her judgment across my skin. She was my mother, yet she always defended Edward.

"But that doesn't mean that he doesn't care," she finished. I cringed over her words; the same damn words she always used when it came to Edward.

"Stop defending him," I hissed at her in anger as she shook her head at me as if she was disappointed in me. I wasn't the one who walked out on us. I wasn't the one who treated co-workers better than family. I wasn't the one who was never home.

"Fine," she sighed, giving me a warning look that I had grown weary of after years of being on the receiving end of it.

"Don't look at me like that, ma," I stated as she continued to watch me, as if she knew I had spent the evening with another man that was actually interested in what I had to say, but there was no way. There was not a way possible for her to know about Emmett, since I had left the house without the intention of even seeing him.

"Edward called. He said you weren't answering your phone. Call him before you go bed since he sounded worried," she said as she packed her things away. I nodded like the good daughter and wife I was expected to be before grabbing my phone to call him even though I had nothing to say to him.

Mom pressed a quick kiss against my cheek while whispering for me to get some rest before slipping out of my too quiet of house just as Edward answered.

"Baby," he mumbled sleepily into the phone instead of greeting me with hello. I had always loved him half a sleep with his sweet terms of endearments and breathy sighs, but that night it only weighed me down after the high I had from earlier.

"Hi, Edward," I whispered as I closed my eyes in effort to focus on my husband, instead of thinking of the man who had spent the evening wanting to know about me as if I was interesting, and not the boring housewife that I had become.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Thanks to His NaughtyBella for her corrections and words. Without her the story would not be as good.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Saturday night was date night for most couples and it was no different for us. Edward and I had agreed that we needed a way to reconnect with all of his traveling, but had never taken steps to actually do something about it until now. It was as if he knew I was barely holding on. It was a nice change, yet it left me wondering if I was that transparent.

"So, what do you think?" Edward asked as we sat in the parking lot of the pub that had always been a favorite of his. I turned to find him watching me with a soft smile. It was always that smile that did me in when we were young. It was playful and hinted at flirtiness that was just pure Edward, but tonight was different. Tonight there was a sadness to it and it looked forced.

"Looks good," I replied with a matching smile that felt wrong as we looked at each other like the perfect strangers that we had become.

Edward got out of the car and walked around to open my door, surprising me with the manners that I had forgotten he had, before helping me out by taking my hand. Once I had stepped free of my seat, I waited for him to let go of my hand like he always had, yet he didn't. It was a simple act that surprised me since it had been ages since he had shown me such affection.

We walked in together, yet still apart. It mirrored our life together.

"What did I miss this week?" he asked me once we were seated and our drinks ordered.

Edward's question was a simple one, yet it was a heart wrenchingly heavy since he had missed so much. He had missed the girls' laughter and playing card games. He had missed speech therapy and the constant worries I faced with Lillie while being reminded by others that I was doing all I could for my girl. He missed time together and nights alone.

There was so much to tell him about the week he was gone, yet nothing at all. He was never interested in school PTA meetings or teachers that called about classroom treats. He was never one to need to know about trips to the orthodontist or me taking apart the pipes under the sink to unclog the drain, but it wasn't the mundane that raced through my mind as he asked me what the week was like without him. It was Emmett. It was Emmett, with his bright smile and blue eyes, that I thought of when he asked me about my week without him, but Emmett wasn't something I was about to share with him.

"Nothing," I lied sweetly with a smile on my face as my heart raced like a hummingbird within my chest.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Thanks to His Naughty Bella for her corrections and suggestions to make this short chapter sound better.**

**To answer an ongoing question over this fic; no, Edward is not cheating on Bella. He is the type of guy who is making the mistake of putting his job first over his family. It happens. A lot of men are career driven because that's how they see providing for their family. It doesn't make him a bad man, it just makes him a man who is giving too attention to the wrong thing. I hope that helps.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra **


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